I HAVE VICES

I smoke a vape, I microdose adderall, I drink caffeine all day long. I sabotage myself. I sometimes short-circuit around my mother. I’m deeply afraid of aloneness, yet I Love to be alone. I contradict myself. I have a hard time making decisions. I am a perfectionist, I demand that there be order, especially from my belongings! I can be bossy, a know-it-all, and I’m constantly telling people what to do (they seem to like it). I create health problems that aren’t real and/or are self-imposed. I am critical of myself and others. I continually experience rejection from men. I am (currently) sexually repressed. I fear my own Light.

THERE!!! I SAID IT!!!!

Oooooofffff!!!! If you only knew what it took for me to write those words. I can feel the weight lifting...


Everything that we do (or don’t do) to harm ourselves or others, comes from a deep and wounded place. A rooted emotion asking for our attention, desiring to be addressed.

The first step is to find the emotion behind the emotion. You have to dig to the core. Using a pendulum (correctly) can be helpful in diagnosing. Acknowledging it alone can produce miracles.

Next, clear the emotion. There are many ways: tapping (EFT, BRT, NAET), praying, affirming, magnet along the meridian, creativity, and the simple practice of just ‘letting it go’. Personally, I do them all!

Next, find the polar OPPOSITE of the emotion, and focus on that... Finding ways to integrate it into your daily life.

Know that you will be tested. The darkness sees your Light and wants to keep you small. DO NOT ALLOW THIS.

Remember that what awaits you is greater than any fear, any moment of un-comfort..

Lastly, share your experience with others. Understand that your epiphanies were never meant for just you. Cause there IS no ‘you’!!!

We,
Hayley*


PS. I once had 10 times more vices than those listed... and successfully overcame them! I've devoted my life to discovering the ways out... for us. #CrossOfObscuration #HumanDesign

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THE PLEASURE OF OVERCOMING FEAR

This is possibly one of the most intimate and important things I’ve written to date, and it’s taken me months to muster the courage to post. Sharing this story with you is a part of the practice.

Recently, I was ask to speak publicly three times over the course of a month and each was painfully difficult; I shook, thoughts refused to become words, and each ended in tears. A friend suggested this fear was a key to unlock my next greatest potential.

I meditated deeply on this, asking for guidance. Spirit showed me that humans were born equipped with a point on their bodies, from which all creation begins and ends. With the correct operational knowledge, truly anything is possible. It was suggested that next time I spoke, to gather and center all of that energy- the butterflies in my stomach, the disconnecting energy between my brain and throat, and anywhere else - and redirect it to that small point between my legs, my God-button… my beautiful little clitoris.

With nothing to lose, I gave it a try the next time I spoke. Before a room of 60 intelligent and curious people, the familiar fears began to rise and I felt waves of pleasure ebb and flow through my body as I redirected the fears all to that point. And immediately I felt a calm pass over me, for once my extremities weren’t shaking, and the room in front of me was laughing.. I looked out on these smiling faces and I felt joy. It, no I, was a success. I didn’t choke, I crushed, and I found speaking a joy for the first time in my life!

I have since been determined to understand and share this process. How to recreate that nervous/exciting energy? So far I’ve thought of three ways: 1) extreme sports such as skydiving and bungee jumping 2) falling in love, which cannot be forced and 3) choose to do the things we fear.

Once you add courage (and always a little faith for good measure) to the equation an alchemical process occurs, propelling you to your next stage in evolution, and gifting you great creative pleasure simultaneously!

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Just when you think God's thought of it all. What an absolutely perfect design.
Fear + Courage = Pleasure

Mic drop.

😍,
Hayley Starr